glue

A friend sent me this article this morning and while it was written back in February, I don't know that this message ever gets old.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/she-the-people/wp/2014/02/25/recline-dont-lean-in-why-i-hate-sheryl-sandberg/

We all need a chance to recline now and again. So often I am overwhelmed with all that is expected of me and a friend described it as being the glue that has to holds all these pieces together.

• Mom - and not just any mom but several different moms -  the cool, awesome mom that does awesome things or creates cool shit from pinterest, the mom can solve most if not all issues from finding a lost toy to easing pain of middle age years, and the authoritative mom that doles out the punishment and keeps everyone in line
• Friend - because we can't survive without them in good times and bad so we have to ensure that we are putting the energy in to nurture and be a true friend
• Co-worker - the one that helps others and leads because we are also Employee Extraordinaire (see below) 
• Employee Extraordinaire  - doing it all and doing it well because we are expected to be the best at what we do
• Spouse, friend, lover to the one person that we probably see and talk to the least and when we do get to talk it is in clipped phrases, reviewing schedules and to do list, or moments before falling asleep exhausted from being the other personas all day. 

Women are the glue (and talk I women here b/c that is what I am - I don't want to short change guys here -  importance of dads or partnerships in marriage but today is about women). We keep it together and some days we have help and others we don't but what is the most miserable part is that even though women everywhere are doing this rather than join together in support some of us take joy in crucifying others when their glue doesn't stick and we falter or fail. 

A close friend of mine is going through some personal and private shit and sadly another mom has ensured that her failings have been made public at school to the point where even the staff is aware of it.  My heart breaks for my friend whose private matter became public.  I am angry at how quickly another woman is willing to cast the first stone. Sometimes the glue doesn't stick and we fail, sometimes we fail daily, and we probably beat ourselves up more than we should but what we don't need is other people especially other women beating us up as well. 

So just like we need to recline a bit and give ourselves a chance to be, a chance to breathe,  we also need to remember (and believe me - I know I am no saint and need to work on this) to give other women a chance to recline and chance a to breathe. Rather than pointing out their failures in hopes to make ourselves feel better or swear that we would never do what they did (because believe me never is a dangerous word to use); we need to support them and make ourselves feel better because we are there to offer to help, to provide glue, and help them hold things together for just a little bit.