spovegas baby!

The boys and I are packing our bags in a few weeks for a trip to SpoVegas! It has been 12 years since I've returned to my home town. I won't lie to say I am a bit excited. I have grandiose plans to torture the boys by making them drive all over Spokane to some of my favorite places and for them to actually see mountains. I wish I had time to take them to Helena but Spokane will have to suffice for now. 

 

I am also hoping to catch up with a few friends that I haven't seen in a bit although hopefully we will be a little more refined than we were 20 years ago.

14!

I spent yesterday trying to think of some deep thoughts about 14 years of marriage but I am not sure I have anything profound to add. Marriage is hard and it is also fabulous. How profound is that?

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”  Katherine Hepburn

Rick and I have seen some great times and some tough times. We don't always get along and we don't always agree. There are times I am certain we've both thought about whether this is where we wanted to be. I have no clue what the next 14 years will bring but then again I would have never guessed the events of the last 14 years.  I do know that in August 1997  I met a guy who made me laugh so much that  my stomach hurt and that same guy continues to make me laugh each and every day and as long as we continue to laugh, we will be ok.

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
― Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

getting all teary eyed

Hard to believe tomorrow marks 14 years of marriage. I've been following a blogger who marks her family and memory posts with #yearsareminutes. I really love that sentiment. It really is amazing how quickly time passes. I am not sure I ever imagined my life at this point. I am working on some super deep thoughts about 14 years of marriage but in the meantime I am getting sappy looking through photos.

Me and Pete relaxing with beer at the reception. What I would give to eat that meal again.

Me and my peeps getting ready to head out to the church.

When Being a Dad Wasn't Cool

Happy Belated Father’s Day to all my favorite dads.

Like most girls, I think my dad is the greatest guy in the world. The guy who set the standards for all others. My dad is one of those dads that knows the answer to any question, can fix just about anything that is broke, can make you a better meal than you’d have at most restaurants, rarely gets upset about anything, and is just fun to be around. Those are really big shoes to fill.

There is an urban legend in the Flisakowski household about a time when my parents were first married and living in Tucson while my dad went to college.  My mom was responsible for making dinner and one night my dad came home to what my mom said was 7 layer dip/casserole but was lacking about 4 layers. From that day forward, my dad took over the cooking for the family. I never questioned this or thought it was odd in any way until I was in middle school and people would comment on the fact that my dad cooked. It was always a bit of shock for most of my friends but once they ate his cooking they understood why.  My parents raised me to accept non-traditional, whether it be that women can be whatever she wants or that a dad can cook kick-ass dinners. I don’t think it is something they intentionally set out to do as parents but it is an aspect of my childhood that I cherish and hope I am passing on to my children. 

Almost 11 years ago, Rick and I were new parents to this fabulous little guy. We did what most couples in our generation do when they have kids and hunted down the best daycare program regardless of the cost for him. And while neither of us loved sending him to daycare we were content with our decision until we had a series of unsatisfactory interactions with the daycare that culminated in a day of finding out that JT had sat in a highchair in a poopy diaper for almost 2 hours while the worker-bee worked to get her room clean so when the last parent pick up was over she could leave and get her own kids. I don’t blame her. She was in a tough spot, working a minimum wage job that she didn't like while raising kids and trying to go to school. As parents we were livid and in that moment we made one the biggest decisions of our life: Rick would become a Stay at Home Dad. Rick would leave a job that he had no passion for, that he commuted almost an hour each way to get to, and that was basically paying for daycare and become the primary care giver. We didn't know what we were doing but it felt right.

When we made this change, we didn't think we were trend setters. We were just a family doing what we need to do for our family. When we’d let others know our situation we were met with support from friends and family and we met some great friends through the Austin Stay at Home Dads group. We were also met with millions of questions and comments when we mentioned Rick’s new job. There were lots of dumb comments like, “You trust him to be at home with your child(ren)?”, “Why wouldn't you stay at home instead?” and “Does he feel like less of a man staying at home?”

It hasn't always been easy. There are days Rick wants to quit and he never really gets vacation time. And of course financially this hasn't been easy but money comes and goes. In my heart I believe that the boys will look back and remember that their days were filled with adventures and laughter with their dad and that as a family we got to spend more time together than apart. My hope is that they will pay that forward when they have their own families; they might decide they want to stay at home with their kids or at the very least they will see that there are no set roles in a marriage but rather two people that work together to create a loving, fun home for their family.

And while the world may not have been ready for Modern Dads it is great to see that media outlets like the Today Show are realizing that non-traditional families are not disappearing and we need to embrace them in every form and listen to their voices.  The Today Show has changed their site page from Today Mom to Today Parents and they are following a group of dad bloggers including a dad (Adrian Kulp) that did some writing for Modern Dads.

http://dadscribe.com/tag/today-show/

And just for some fun internet viewing, you can go back to last August when Kathy Lee confirmed that SAHD have gone from “creepy to cool” and our first segment ever on the Today Show in 2008 when the talk of stay at homes dad was just starting.

http://www.today.com/parents/modern-dads-weve-gone-creepy-cool-6C10925232

 http://www.today.com/id/23903260#.U6Gc1vldVcg

 What are the chances of appearing twice on the Today Show and not because we were arrested!

catching up

I finally uploaded photos from my camera looking for a photo from graduation.  Sadly I didn't get a good shot mainly because we were stuck in the way back. 5th grade graduation was a bit more overwhelming than I had hoped for mainly because the chickens were not  in a mood (which really translates to me being totally foolish in thinking they'd sit quietly for over an hour in a crowd of clapping people) and there were just a lot more people than I had anticipated.

So here is my one, super fuzzy photo and to make up for one super bad photo I've added in a chicken photo. They love playing with the hose.

                                                Chicken cheat sheet - that is Lulu with the hose

catching a game

One of the toughest things to navigate with the chickens are baseball games especially since JT's schedule varies and we may have a few hours gap between the next game. This past weekend we just happen to be playing at a field that you could see from the parking lot. We also happened to pull up to the game just as the chickens were falling asleep. It all worked out perfectly. Zach hung out with his kindle in the air-conditioned truck with the girls while I sat just beyond the outfield and watch the Giants play.

When the girls woke we just opted to hang out, which may have made this one of the most enjoyable games to date. If only I could get the same preferred parking for every game.

#socialmedia

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I took a hiatus from facebook. When I mention that to people, it is almost like I told them I ate my dog for dinner. How in the world could I do such a thing? Truth be told I did it because I got tired of how much time I'd waste reading other peoples opinions, tired of the mixed emotions that comes with people's (as a friend says it) facebragging, and honestly the straw that broke my camel's back, I got tired of listening to a friend complain about family life but then every status update on facebook would be about how awesome family life is. It feels like facebook isn't reality for most people but an opportunity to show off or try to one-up everyone else.  I most likely wouldn't put up with this behaviour with friends in person so why put up with it online? I do occasionally log in because someone mentions an article posted in someone's feed that I should read or when I need to find someone's contact information. Of course, I haven't given up social media completely, I do have instagram, which is more my speed since I love viewing people's photos and I still waste a lot of time on pinterest and various blogs.

What I don't have is Twitter but I was tempted recently to join after the events in California over Memorial Day weekend and the #yesallwomen campaign that emerged. Of course I've been pondering some big post about #yesallwomen. It is a topic that is near and dear to me. Being part of the creation of a sexual awareness center on my college campus is one of my proudest accomplishments. Almost 20 years later and that center has thrived and grown and while my initial reaction is pride I realize what I should feel is disappointment; disappointment that the center is still around and that it thrives because girls on campus need it.  There have been some great blog posts, articles, and interviews about the reaction to the events in California and the #yesallwomen campaign  and I don't know that I can add any great insight. I feel too far removed in my small cosmos of family life in Texas to really be a part of the conversation anymore.

I am a mom of two boys and two girls and as I try my best to raise them to be kind, generous, thoughtful, happy contributing members of society. Daily they are reminded to respect elders, each other, their friends, strangers. At some point though (and sadly it is happening sooner with JT rather than later), I will start talking about more than just friend relationships and in reading the #yesallwomen comments I realized  that I will spend my time instilling in my boys to respect the girls they date, to listen when they say no, to never hit a girl but then I will turn to the girls and teach them to protect themselves, to learn to fight, to always be on guard.

I might be in my small family cosmos and not part of the larger conversation right now but I will do my part with the four young minds I have and hopefully they will take what I say and learn from the relationships I have to help make changes so perhaps when they are in college there won't be any need for sexual harassment centers on campus or maybe they will be a voice that helps make changes that we need.

If you have spare time, there are some though provoking tweets associated with the #yesallwomen (there are some not so great ones too). And as I learned don't have to join twitter you can just go to twitter.com and search a hashtag. There are also lots of media outlets have compiled some of the tops tweets.

happening today

This is happening today...

I am sure I am going to be a huge emotional mess. It is only 5th grade but in true Meghan fashion my mind starts to wander and I realize that in 7 years we will be doing this for real. I promise some photos of the event later and probably lots of blubbery mom emotion-laden deep thoughts.