Throwing Caution to the Wind

A few Sundays back Rick had the boys, which meant the girls and I were left to our own devices. We had maxed out our adventures at the grocery store and park and the weather was too nice to not want to be outside. It just happens that I had a large canvas sitting around - doesn't everyone? - and thought I'd throw caution to the wind and let the chickens paint. Full disclosure here, I usually don't have large canvases laying around but this one was left over from the TV show. One of my top 10 annoyances with the show was that they wouldn't let me use my artwork in the house. Everything I had was replaced with work that was (hastily) created for the show. Ironically you see more of my actual "stuff" in the pilot episode than you do throughout the rest of the show but that doesn't make up for me having to stare at it for 6 months.

So this is what throwing caution to the wind looks like.

Kit Kat definitely enjoyed painting more than Lulu. In the largest photo you can see her singing while she paints. Lulu eventually got worried about the amount of paint she had on her body more than anything else but also kept adding paint to her body. The boys came home while we were still painting and JT jumped in to lend his touch. Below is what they ended up creating. I am going to leave it as for now and hang it in my room although it was so much fun that I may take it down and repaint it with all four kids or maybe we will just get some new canvases.

'tis the season

Despite the abnormal and miserable cold weather and a record number of snow days (without snow), we have been playing baseball for almost a month. JT started trying for teams in early December and we finally settled on a team that we really feel good about and we have great hopes that this will be an enjoyable season and more importantly a long term relationship. I'll talk more about the team in other posts I am sure. Zach is playing league ball again this spring since he has yet to feel a strong desire about the sport. We will focus on encouraging him to try something else.

The whole intent of this post though is that with baseball season arriving that means that life gets more complicated than it already is and two kids need to be in two separate places (aka opposite ends of Austin) at the same time, one parent needs to be at meeting, and this all conflicts with the bedtime routine of the chickens. That meant I took JT to practice and I took the chickens. His practice was at the indoor facility which is great because it is cold outside but it is a very small facility and along with our team's 12 kids, 4 coaches and slew of parents there are other people using the cages, which means the chickens and I sat in the car for the majority of the practice.

I tried to capture this moment of the two of them on the kindles. KitKat is watching Fetch (a pbs show) and Lulu is watching a Barbie movie. And yes to those that asks me if their personalities are different - their viewing options perfectly illustrate their different interests.

life with the chickens

I think I have mentioned how people always love to tell me they wish they'd twins and I have to clench my jaw and smile and try to say something kind like "yes, it is a blessing" or "there is never a dull moment." I remember once meeting a pregnant woman at JoAnn's while chasing the chickens around and quickly losing my patience and she told me she was a few weeks from having twins herself. I don't recall what I said but I am certain it wasn't pleasant and there is a good chance I made her cry. In fact, I think my head spun around three times and spoke in tongues and ended with something like "this is the hardest thing I've ever done." I still obviously feel bad. I mean this is a woman I spoke to for maybe 5 minutes and I am wondering if I ruined her miracle of having twins. I really wish I could meet up with her again and apologize and maybe also have her tell me it is ok because it really is hard.

Anywho, a friend sent along this article and I think to everyone who asks me what it is like with the chickens, this woman captures it perfectly. Here is the link to the entire piece: http://twiniversity.com/2014/02/i-love-having-twins-no-i-really-do/ and I've pasted the piece that describes life here the best but insert that the girls do bite each other and if you aren't careful when breaking up the fight, you too will be bitten.

Speaking of awesome parenting strategies (like “using television in totally inappropriate ways”) let’s talk about time-outs, shall we? In my profession as a marriage and family therapist, I have often recommended “time-ins” instead of time-outs to parents struggling with their children’s behaviors. When a kid is struggling to self-regulate, putting them in an isolated time-out may diffuse things, but actually staying with the child in time-out (hence, a “time-IN”) is recommended because the parent can then help the child learn to calm down and self-regulate. In addition to time-ins, therapists will often recommend that the parent give THEMSELF a time-out rather than removing the child if things get too heated. It’s a great way to break the shame of a child who is always being “banished” and sets an example that “mommy is human and has emotions and needs breaks too.”

Let me show you how this looks when you have two children the same age. Let’s imagine they’re the lovely age of two and a half…

Child A has a yellow plastic giraffe that Child B decides she wants. Child B attempts to grab yellow giraffe from Child A. Fight ensues. There is pushing, there is bull-dozing, there is a weak attempt at choking (What the? Yes, they do this. It’s strange. Like a narrowly focused, exaggerated hug). There is screaming. There’s no biting, yet, but I’m sure they’ll eventually figure that out too. There is Child A escaping and running for her life while Child B throws herself on the floor screaming, clearly not regulated (in fact, let’s call it what it is: she is PISSED OFF).

So here comes mommy, she gently takes Child B by the arm to lead her to a time-in where she can calmly and quietly help Child B learn to self-regulate EXCEPT OH WAIT! That doesn’t work because as mommy tries to lead Child B to her room for a quality time-in, Child A (still upset about being bull-dozed and weakly strangled – relax, she was nowhere near being strangled) decides that the indignation of mommy giving Child B this attention must be rectified immediately, and follows mommy and Child A, screaming and clawing and OH LOOK, a new fight ensues.

Now mommy is Fed. Up. Mommy recognizes she is fed up and decides to give HERSELF a time-out EXCEPT OH WAIT! If mommy walks away to give herself a moment to calm down, these two toddlers are going to continue to claw each other’s eyes out, so mommy removing herself from the situation may actually not be in the best interest of anyone. So guess what mommy does?

TIME OUT!You! – Here!You! – There!Me! – WINE.

Electronic Ephemera

I was having an email debate the other day with a friend. I argued that I am a private person who doesn't let too many people in my life. He argued that this blog proves I am not private. I think in my mind, my mom is really the only one that reads this blog. So for everyone that isn't my mom, I still believe I am a private person but I will share some personal thoughts today.

Moving the bookshelf has involved going through the hundreds of books that we have. HUNDREDS! I am not sure it is a good idea to have two bibliophiles get married. During the bookshelf move I found a few books from college classes that while I should part with I can't because I have various personal notes and heart scribbled throughout. I also came across a small notebook that Jennie O had given me during high school. She went through the book and scribbled quotes that were significant to our teen-aged selves. After getting the notebook, I spent years filling it with quotes, ticket stubs, poems, and other ephemera. And so I stand before you and announce that I am a ephemera addict.

Some of my favorite items are my bulletin board that hangs above my desk with various cuttings, business cards, postcards, etc, a scrapbook of sorts with childhood mementos that my mom made me as a gift, and my grandma Ellen's scrapbook. Their common theme: EPHEMERA!

Small notebook from JO on the right and check out the photo in the book my mom made me - you can see my teen age room and all the ephemera I collected back then!

Early this morning, I realized that I've taken this addiction to a new level. Electronic Ephemera. I see quotes, sayings, poems, song lyrics and I write them down in my work notebook or copy and paste them on my computer. I am the reason Pinterest was invented.

A few days ago I came across the quote below that has stuck with me and in admitting my addiction to electronic ephemera I decided to share. (it comes courtesy of http://www.lilblueboo.com/)



I think this one resonates so much as my birthday arrives. I've taken to reviewing the past year during my birthday versus NYE and taking stock in what I've learned, what I need to let go, and what I need to work on. 2013 or Year 38 was a year full of lots of events and people. I met new friends, lost friends, had once in a lifetime experiences, felt frustrated, happy, sad...you get the point. A few months ago, I found myself beating myself up for some of my experiences/decisions but as I read this quote I realize that I can't regret decisions I made. I need to remember that whether they were good or poor choices they have helped me find joy; helped me realize the path(s) I need to take.

Year 39 is going to be a year of being more open to new experiences, new people, and not beating myself up for the choices I make. I am going to work on not being timid. Choices have to be made and I am doing the best I can to make the best choices. I am still learning to sail my ship.

And yep - I think I've worked in birthday talk to the last few blog posts. Oddly I haven't gotten very many cards or flowers.